If we listened twice as much as we talked, we would be a lot further down the road to success. People sometimes think I am very quiet when they first meet me. Those that know me are aware that I am quite the opposite. When I am in a setting where I do not know anyone, I spend my time listening to conversations. I pick up good information about most people at the event. Once I feel I have enough to go on, I will put my hat in the ring and speak up. If most people did the same thing, they would learn how to participate in a conversation. Not only do you have to listen to conversations, you actually have to hear what they are saying. It is only through hearing that you will gain an understanding. I am not saying you need to understand every conversation but you do need to understand enough to make an intelligent comment to get into the circle.
Another way to get into a conversation is to reiterate what you have just heard. I use, "did I hear you say . . . . .?" The response is usually yes and then they continue to explain why they said it. This is your opportunity to follow up with your comments. You must continue to listen and hear throughout any conversation and only make a comment when you know exactly what you are talking about. I made a fatal error once when someone was arguing a point and I agreed with them. They then asked me how I knew about the subject. I was dumb-founded and could not answer as I was not really hearing what they said, I was just listening in. I felt very foolish and now I make sure I hear the words and understand them before agreeing. There is nothing like an embarrassing moment to straighten up your habits.
When you attend events and spend your time adding to conversations, you are really taking in information that will be valuable for you at another time. You will get to know the participants in the conversation and perhaps even exchange business cards. You may also find that you have common interests.
Bette Daoust, Ph.D. is a speaker, author (over 170 books, articles, and publications), and consultant. She has provided marketing, sales, business development and training expertise for companies such as Peet's Coffee & Tea, Varian Medical Systems, Accenture, Avaya, Cisco Systems to name a few. Dr. Daoust has also done extensive work with small businesses in developing their marketing, training, and operational plans. You may contact Dr. Daoust at http://BizMechanix.com. You may also view her latest publications at http://BlueprintBooks.com. Dr. Daoust also writes for the National Networker http://theNationalNetworker.com. |
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